There Goes her Career

Close to fifteen years ago I started my career with the Los Angeles Police Department, and six months into my probationary period a call out from my Field Training Officer (FTO) would leave me assigned to work with ‘the grouchy FTO,’ known to be dry, tough as nails, and had a zero tolerance for any nonsense. I ran down the stairs to the kitroom, first in line, grabbed all of our equipment and loaded the shop.

As I finished pumping fuel, he approached me for the first time that morning, “Hey boot, has anyone given you a tour of the station?” he asked.

I’d been a probationary police officer there for six months, of course I had a tour of the station, I was quite familiar with the station by now.

“Well...” he asked impatiently and before I could answer, he snapped, “I’m going to give you a tour.” He walked me through the station, to the front desk, through the Senior Lead Officer Office, Area Office, and Detectives, and once the tour was done we walked silently back out to the shop. Before I could settle into the passenger seat, he asked, “did you notice anything particular about our tour?”

Unsure what to say, I remained silent.

“A lot of women in there, wasn’t there? Before you know it, you’ll get pregnant too and head inside for the rest of your career.”

Awkwardly, I sat there.
Beep. Beep. Beep. “Any unit in the area...” Saved by the call.

Fast forward into my “PII” era (early 20’s) I was certain I didn’t want children, for my own set of personal reasons. Through the years I saw many of my partners, friends, and colleagues wear their adorable pregnant bumps around the station. I’d see their glowing anxious faces, they’d share stories of their pregnancy woes, but I was clueless to it all. I’d hear our peers chatter during second Roll Calls, “there goes her career” or “so much for her working (fill in coveted position)...”

Fast forward into my late twenties, I was still certain I didn’t want children. Many of my partners who had been pregnant when we were young PII’s were settled back into their careers as working moms. One morning, my classmate and I met for coffee at the Coffee Bean on Figueroa, and she shared she was the newest FTO at Southwest; she was and continues to be an inspiration to me. She was now a mom of two and a FTO! Soon after I followed her footsteps as a FTO.

Fast forward into my Sergeant era, I was getting a little older (early thirties), and maybe I did want kids? Maybe not? I had my eyes set on making Lieutenant and with no viable partner, maybe I was just destined to be “the cool Aunt.”

Fast forward into my Lieutenant era (mid-thirties), I was sure I wasn’t going to have kids. It was too late right? By the time I met someone and established a relationship it would be too late. My classmate, now a Watch Commander, that had inspired me years before, gifted me a Dumbo coffee mug with inspirational quotes, “you oughta be proud of your success” “Dream big little one,” and “Here is a baby with eyes of blue, straight from heaven, right to you.” She wanted me to experience the love of being a mother, she saw something in me I didn’t see.

And then I met someone. Established into my career and personal life, I had no hesitation to move forward at a fast pace. With two short months of trying, we celebrated a positive pregnancy test on Valentine’s Day.

At 14 weeks pregnant I attended a Department Training. There, I ran into a former supervisor, she stopped me in the hallway and blurted, “I heard you're pregnant.” Unsure what to respond other than a smile and nod. She quickly added, “So I guess no more promoting for you...”

I stood silently in awe by her bold statement, while remembering comments I had heard earlier in my career about other women, “there goes her career.”

I text my classmate, “Fifteen years later and were still telling mothers this? It’s 2023!”

What I found ironically frustrating was the amount of times I heard this throughout the years about pregnant Probationary Police Officers and Police Officer II’s...but here I was hearing it as a Lieutenant.

Fast forward to 11 months later, I attended the first “Mothers on the Job” event at Elysian Park. I proudly took my “blue eyed daughter sent straight from Heaven” to the event. At the conclusion of the event, I was pushing my stroller down the steep Elysian Park hill, when one of my former Police Officers stopped me to congratulate me on my daughter. He chatted momentarily with me, reminding me his wife had been on the Police Department before leaving after having their children. He shared, “I know a lot of people will say things like your career is over, and things like you’re stuck for a while, but you’re not missing out on anything. Just enjoy your time with your baby.” As sweet and genuine the sentiment in his words were, I fixated again on the narrative that lingers fifteen years later...

For all the mothers reading this, whether new, experienced, or expecting, remember, your career does not stop, unless you want it to.

Motherhood gives you perspective. Motherhood challenges you. Motherhood teaches you compassion, patience, and grace. Motherhood frustrates you, stresses you, breaks you, and rebuilds you. Motherhood is a beautiful secret society of late-night text messages while pumping /feeding, inspirational meme messages sent to lift us up, venting calls about our frustrations with motherhood, unexpected gifts sent to our babies, subtle sweet smiles in public from other

mothers. Motherhood is beautiful, motherhood is sacred and in the wise words of one of my former Captains, “we all came from a mother.”

Do not doubt yourself because you’re a mother, instead leap forward with strength because you are a mother! If you gave birth, if you adopted, if you dealt with a colicky baby, the sleepless nights, a NICU baby, twins, two under two, etc. (whatever your own circumstances were). What makes you think you can’t handle being a FTO, Gang Officer, Tactical Flight Operator, Metro Officer, Sergeant, Watch Commander, Lieutenant, Captain, etc..? You’re a mother! You can handle stress. You can handle multi-tasking, delegating, mentoring, inspiring, influencing... You have done it every day since your baby was born.

Don’t let some false narrative stop you from having a family.
Don’t let some false narrative slow you down from having a family (tomorrow isn’t always guaranteed).
Don’t let some false narrative stop you from dreaming.
Don’t let some false narrative stop you from aspiring to do more.
Don’t let some false narrative take your shine.
Mostly, don’t doubt yourself.

Instead, know this, “the title of being a mother is the most challenging, rewarding, inspiring and best promotion you’ll ever have in life.”

With love, Jasmin Gomez